Blogging for 1

I'm officially done with my tech class through Emporia State, so really there's no reason to continue this blog. Well, it's not for a grade anymore. However, i feel like this is a good outlet for me. I dont think there is anyone who will read this post except for maybe my mom. So, hi mom. Right now i'm sitting on my back deck watching the zoo of animals run around in my back yard. This chair i'm sitting in has been a solace for me over the past several weeks. I've spent every morning in this chair with my cup of coffee, journal, and bible. This place feels holy to me. God has spoken to me so clearly here.

My heart has had it's ups and downs hugetime lately, which has been a sign to me that something isn't right. I've allowed my heart to be enraptured by someone else more than i let it be by Christ. Our pastor, Mark Seversen, talked about what stirs our hearts this past sunday, and i'll admit, mine has been stirred more by a girl than by my savior. The story of Mary pouring out a years worth of wages of perfume on Jesus' feet reminds us that nothing is to stir us more than our devotion to Him. Not the heartache for the poor, not the love for anything else, but our hearts should ultimately be stirred by Him. In turn, He will stir our hearts for the things that stir his. I honestly don't feel like I'm in the wrong being stirred by someone else but am I stirred for Christ more? Good question. These past couple weeks have really opened my eyes to that and helped me see that when my heart fully rests in Him, nothing will break me down.

This is a hymn i sing often. It was written in 1871 by Edward Hopper
Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life's tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal.
Chart and compass come from Thee:
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

Somebody's Baby

"you are not your own. you were bought at a price." 1 cor 6: 19-20.

Thinking about my last post (mostly the part about those who are on the dance scene for the wrong reasons) spurned me on to think more and more about what my "holy discontent" is. Those words, holy discontent, are not my own, but from a friend who asked me about it on tuesday. I gave an answer but it has been wrestling with me since. What is on my heart that causes it to break? There is so much injustice in this world. So many people are wronged. So many people are hurt. Unfortunately, while this world exits, so does injustice. God has called us to live differently. To be a people who show mercy and work for restoration (he showed us how and has provided the way through his son, Jesus).

My heart breaks for the wrongs done to women. Wrongs acted out be evil men who prey and seek to devour the beautiful creation of a woman. That a man, like me - human, could take someone off a walking trail to fulfill sexual lust - rape. That a man, like me - human, could sell a teenage girl into sex-slavery. That a man, like me - human, could sit behind a computer screen and devour women with his eyes, thinking he's not hurting anyone. My heart cries out, WHY Oh Lord?! That girl, that woman, is somebody's baby. Somebody's baby girl. Whether the earthly father cares or not, without doubt, her heavenly father cries out, WHY MY People?! He longs for his people to come back to him. "I will say to the north, "Give them up!" and to the south, "Do not hold them back." Bring my sons and my daughters from the ends of the earth-everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom i formed and made." Isaiah 43:6-7.

The anger i have towards men who live this way is the only anger i have that will not be held back. This is why i must rely on God to be the redeemer of this injustice. Redeem Your daughters and sons. "Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you." Isaiah 43:4.

This video is a song by Jon Foreman, Somebody's Baby. The video is not officially connected to the song, but was done by a student in a film class. Heart wrenching. My "holy discontent".

Shutterbugg

This post really has nothing to do with Big Boi's "Shutterbugg," however it's a sweet beat and great to dance to. Speaking of dancing, what is up with dancing these days? I believe two things about dancing - 1) EVERYONE should dance. I don't care if you've got moves or not. Dance is a vibrant, valuable body expression. Dance can be simple, nod the head, sway arms or hips, clap the hands. I think everyone has that. I know it's intimidating to get out on the actual dance floor, but it's such a good feeling - ESPECIALLY when there is someone across from you who loves dancing just as much! 2) Dance should not be sex with your clothes on. I get ribbed from friends who don't dance about my actually going out to dance. They believe the dance world is filled with inappropriate behavior, and unfortunately there are too many out there who are out on the dance floor or in the club for those "hook-up" reasons. But those people aren't going to keep me from dancing. (Ps. I won't argue against any parent who doesn't want their kids out dancing in clubs. Smart decision.) It's like saying I shouldn't hang out with people who don't believe what i do - what's the purpose of living then? Are we not supposed to be IN the world just not OF the world? Anyway, I say "Dance it up!" Or as Big Boi says "Now party people in the club it's time to cut a rug and throw that deuce up in the sky just for the shutterbuggs." Feel that beat.

Gametime

Sometimes is hard to come up with things to 'blog' about, especially when blogging about something means i feel like this information is worthy of being shared with anyone interested! So today's blog captures a couple things going on in my life right now. I've titled this entry 'gametime' because i want to be at my best right now. Need to have my gameface on...well not completely, but it's a mindset. I'm pumped about the direction i'm heading. I decided to retire from my role as a youth pastor and focus on my role as an elementary pe teacher. I feel that is where I'm called and where my efforts need to be focused. I'm not just excited about more energy towards school, but i'm also excited about energy towards other things as well. Music, sports, friendships, hangouts all with get some dividends of this new energy, but so will time with this girl. It's gametime. Here comes the energy. Here comes life.

Summer Time

Summer is my jam. It's hard to imagine a life for me that doesn't have summers off from work and the opportunity to be free with time and commitments. This year, more so than past years, i ached for summer for so long. The long winter brought with it added stress and a restricted view of hope. When march brought the first bead of sweat to my forehead from the sun, i felt it - i felt life coming back! But spring's early cold and rough weather made for a bunker approach to the end of the year - try to protect and wait out with slight glimpses of summer hope. May 26th, last day of school, relief. Bring on the heat. Burn me - let me know I'm alive. Ahh, summer! It's so good to be here. To be on a schedule that allows for so much. To be with people that bring so much. Summer 2011, will be a summer i never forget.

The Head and The Heart

Last night I went to a show at the Record Bar in Westport. The band headlining was The Head and The Heart. One of my friends is the bass player for the group and last night was show number 26 on their tour around the country! My quick review of this band is, I admit, filled with a little bit of bias. I really want to like my buddy's band but with THATH, it's so easy, and right. Knowing their music before seeing them live, allowed me to experience the artists and the music in a completely spiritual way. You can tell they LOVE what they do and they do it because music is their way of life. As a musician, I completely connect with that. Their soul can be heard and their hearts are exposed when they are on stage. It was also a great show for me because of who I was with. A great group of friends, a brother, and a girl. Amazing night! Check out the minute video of the show!

Need More Wick

First blog post should probably be an introduction, explanatory post right? Well let me explain. I love what my life is. My story has been filled with battles & peace, destruction & rebuilding, excitement & more excitement, laughter & tears, heros & heroines, but most importantly relationship. The past few years of my life I've decided to be a "yes" man. I had no idea the people that would be put into my life via this decision. But it has been awesome! Talk about how life is supposed to be lived - in relationships. However, my "yes's" have also meant a lack in time. I Need More Wick in the candle. My mom says I burn the candle at both ends too often, and she is probably right. I've got to learn the balance and the 'right'ness of a "no" as well. As I move forward as a teacher, a musician, a friend, a brother, a son, and a youth pastor, I want my candle to burn bright for all. I guess that means, being able to blow it out and let it rest from time to time and let other candles shine on me.